caution: contents under pressure may explode causing decapitation or severed limb but there will most definitely be a loss of sanity

that's how i've felt for the past 4 months.

The pressure started building the beginning of Oct when I found out that my mom had colon cancer. October and November consisted of a lot of phone calls to and from home and 2 flights to Iowa to be with my mom and family. Thankfully the cancer was removed during surgery and no treatments are necessary. Which is a HUGE relief considering my mom's already compromised health circumstances. On one of my return flights back to Chicago from spending a 10 days with my mom in November, the airlines lost my luggage. Let me just tell you how absolutely UN-pleasant lost luggage is. Ok, it's hard to tell you exactly how unpleasant it is because, lets face it, there's not enough space here and I'm sure you've got better things to do than listen to me rant about the airlines.

Anyway, a few days after my luggage failed to make it to the windy city, Thanksgiving day precisely, I got a massive, MASSIVE headache. Ok, now, I get a lot of headaches. i have been getting headaches since I was 11, so I have a pretty high tolerance for head pain. But this one was different. This one was so severe that I didn't really know what was going on other than the fact that Abby, who was driving us home from thanksgiving dinner, made the executive decision to take me to the ER. my body was seizing up, I was hunching up in the fetal position as best as i could, snot was running out of my nose beyond my control, I was groaning with pain, and had I been able to move I would have undeniably chopped my own head off to end the pain immediately. the slight awareness I had of what was going on only made me panic and intensify the pain even more.

After making quite a scene in the ER waiting room (why on earth did they make me sit there for so long!?) I finally got a bed. Several doctors came in, all asking me what was wrong? had I had headaches before? what had i eaten? what sort of physical activities had I been taking part in before the onset of the headache? Was I having my period? Would i classify this as the worst headache i've ever had??? My response to all the questions was a grunt. that's all i could muster. After the interrogation, they injected me with 2 strong doses of some heavy duty headache-killer. The nurse (who nick-named me 'brow' cuz i had such a pained expression on my face the entire time) then sent me to have a CT scan to see if I was having a migraine. The results apparently came out clear, so 4 hours after entering the ER, I was able to walk out and go home feeling like I had gotten run over in the red-line tunnel.

The next day, as I recovered from the trauma, and still suffering from a headache the size of montana, the charge nurse called to tell me that the radiologist had taken a 2nd look at the CT scan and found a 1.3 cm cyst.

Insert panic episode, round 2.

She told me I would need an MRI but because of insurance mumbo jumbo, I wouldn't be covered if I went with their hospital. Panic, confusion, pain...all feelings i was having. Abby saved my life again and helped me sort out my situation. Since i didn't have a relationship with a doctor in Chicago, I would have to form one with a complete stranger who would understand quickly and comprehensively what I was going through. Thankfully I met my current doctor who is fabulous. She scheduled me for an MRI immediately.

Five days after The Headache, I had my MRI, and two days after that I found out that my brain was completely normal. Yes, that's right. Normal. There was no cyst, no tumor, my sinuses were totally clear and most importantly, my brain was normal. (who would've ever thought I'd hear THAT from a medical professional??) It was crazy. Completely crazy. Talk about an emotional roller coaster.

A less severe version of The Headache hung around for over a month and didn't go away completely until I went home for Christmas and saw the chiropractor. he did a form of Accupuncture on my upper shoulder and into my neck where he took a tool and proceeded to tear my muscle apart. When i say tear i mean I could literally hear my muscle tearing apart (I had quite an impressive looking bruise after that). He said my headaches were tension based and that my shoulder/neck muscles were so tight that an adjustment and massage would not fix the problem. Miraculously, two days later my headache was gone. Since then I've only had a couple headaches, but so far nothing compared to The Headache of Thanksgiving Day 2007.

So, the months of Oct, Nov and Dec were pretty crazy. But it started looking up. I did attend some holiday parties and had a blast. I was home for just over a week for Christmas which was a nice time with my family and friends. My mom is doing quite well after her surgery. Then 2 weeks after returning to Chicago, I flew back to Iowa to be the maid of honor in my sister's wedding, which was gorgeous. Such a beautiful ceremony and reception. A couple weeks ago I received a check in the mail from the airlines covering the cost of my suitcase. It took over 2 months and a lot of paper work to get a monetary reimbursement for all the stuff I lost. Unfortunately, my suitcase is still MIA, as is a strange piece of my sanity and 99% of the trust I had in the airline baggage system.

But now, here I am. It's February 5. I'm back in Chicago, back at work, with nothing but the unforeseeable future to look forward to. I guess that's all all we ever have to look forward to, but for the first time in over 4 months, I feel relaxed. It feels sorta like I'm taking a 'breather' before the next crazy event happens...and I know it's coming, it always does. but for now, all i'm going to do is sit back, relax, and say a prayer of thanksgiving.